Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
