every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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