I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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