One girl and one boy is just not enough.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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