He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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