love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize