i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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