i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
