so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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