I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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