Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
