wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
