He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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