Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
