So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize