I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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