he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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