idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
