Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
