My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
