Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
