i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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