i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize