I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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