dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize