i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
