Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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