I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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