Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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