conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
