Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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