I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
soo... how was my night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
