Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
