I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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