Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
