If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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