Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Who wears a wallet chain?!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
