no. you can't hotbox the world.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
