I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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