One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize