just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
sex in a hospital.. check
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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