ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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