I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
