i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
