they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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