that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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