I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
