i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
