windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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