i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize