I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
