Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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