i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
