my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Are we still banned from the library?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
