gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
