I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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