Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
