I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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