There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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