oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
