i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
