One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
