And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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