He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
