I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
