I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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